Chicken Cutlets (Very Good Food)

Cook and Prep Time: 40 minutes

Calorie Estimate for the batch: 2500

After 3 years of bitching and moaning about how I couldn’t get a chicken cutlet in Seattle, I broke down and learned how to make them myself.  If I had a deep fryer, they’d rock even more, but they come out pretty damn good on the pan.  Now, all I need is some good honey mustard and bread for a chicken cutlet and honey mustard hero.

And yes, these are not lazy-man friendly either.  You may ask, what happened to lazy cooking?  Well, in a month, after the novelty of stepping up my game has gone away, I’m sure lazy will reassert itself.  Don’t despair.

Tools

• skillet or fry pan
• knife
• cutting board
• tongs
• 4 plates
• some sort of dipping dish for the egg wash
• fork
• fingers

Ingredients

• 1.5 pound skinless boneless chicken breast, cut into strips (you can buy it this way, but it’s cheaper to thin them yourself)
• 1 C italian-style breadcrumbs (I use Progresso)
• 1/2 C romano cheese, shredded
• 2 eggs + 2 T water
• 1 C flour
• garlic salt to taste (1 T ish)
• oil for frying (canola is best, olive can work but you need to be careful)
• kosher salt

Method

1. Cut chicken into strips between 1/4″ and 3/8″ thick.
2. Prep the egg wash: scramble 2 eggs with 2 T of water in a dish suitable for dipping the chicken.
3. Layout the ingredient assembly line, as shown in the picture below.   After the chicken comes flour, then the egg wash, and then the feature coating, made from the bread crumbs, shredded cheese, and garlic salt.  I probably add about a tablespoon of garlic salt.  Basically, I put the ingredients together, mix it up with my hands, and taste.  If it seems like it could use more garlic salt, I put a little more in, mix and taste.   The last plate in the assembly line is for the finished coated chicken.
4. To coat the chicken, work from left to right (err bottom to top, thanks Val).  Take the chicken and thoroughly coat it with flour.  Then dip the floured chicken in the egg mix, being sure to coat it thoroughly.  Then, thoroughly coat (see a trend?) with the seasoned breading and place on the exit tray.
5. After the chicken is coated, get a frying pan going on medium heat with enough oil to coat the bottom at least 1/16″.   This is not the time to be bashful.  In fact, if you’ve got an inch worth of oil, go ahead and deep fry them.  Canola works best since it’s neutral and has a high smoke point.  Olive oil can be used (and it’s usually what I have on hand), but you have to be very careful not to burn the oil and turn it rancid.  On my stove, I can’t go past 6 on the heat without being screwed.
6. When the oil is hot enough, add chicken until the pan is full.  I get 5 to 7 strips per run.  After 2 minutes, flip and cook for 2 minutes more.  I use tongs for handling near the hot oil.  When they’re done, set them aside on another plate (the fourth, unless you wash as you go like I do) with some paper towels to soak up the excess oil.  Salt to taste at this point.
7. It takes me 3 or 4 runs to get through all the chicken.  I usually have to add oil after each batch, and I try to make sure to scrape away any char from the previous batch.  If I had a deep fryer (or felt like setting up a big vat of oil), I’d definitely rather use that.  The chicken cutlets will cook more nicely and it’ll probably give that “Deli” vibe I’m after but can’t seem to get at home.

That’s that.  If they’re not overcooked, they’ll be moist and delicious.  They’re also great cold.  Nominally, a batch this size should last me 4 meals, but I have a tendancy to eat one every time I go near the kitchen, so…

Someday, I’ll keep going and make chicken parm, but these are so good on their own, it doesn’t seem worth the work.  I suppose if I ever get inspired to make 5 pounds at once, then I’ll make some chicken parm.  Perhaps we’ll revisit this.

Fried Rice (3-star = Good Food)

Prep time: 12 minutes

My previous attempts at fried rice have been disappointing, but I’ve got 2 servings of leftover boring pilaf, so it was time to try again.  This time, success.

Tools

1. knife
2. cutting board
3. wooden spoon
4. 12″ frying pan (or something like that)

Ingredients

• old cooked rice (about 20 oz by volume == a good sized cereal bowl and change)
• 1 carrot
• 1 stalk celery
• 1/2 onion,  all veggies diced “White Castle”-sized (total, including what was in the pilaf already)
• 2 eggs
• a few tablespoons of sesame oil
• 1T (-ish) soy sauce
• 1t (-ish) black pepper
• (If you’ve got some sort of cured pork, toss that in too at the right stage, depending on if it’s cooked already or not)

Method

1. Finely dice the veggies so they soften quickly.  Smaller than 1/4″ a side is the goal.
2. Heat a splash of oil in a hot pan, then toss in the veggies to soften them for a few minutes. Season with pepper but leave out the salt since the soy sauce brings plenty.  Onions should just start to brown on the edges.
3. Push veggies to the side, mostly off the heat,  and add a few tablespoons of oil until the bottom of the pan is coated with about a 1/16″-thick layer.  Let oil heat for a few seconds (if the pan’s hot, that’s all it’ll take), and then crack two eggs onto the pan.
4. Working quickly, scramble the veggies into the eggs and dump in the rice.  Rapidly stir and fold, making sure to break up clumps.  Add about 1 T of soy sauce (or whatever gives some color and not too much saltiness), stir some more.  Toast for a minute or so, and serve.
5. As long as you don’t care if you warp your pan a little, run it under water while it’s still hot and wash it off with a little sponging.  A hot pan cleans effortlessly.

It came out good, touched up with a little soy sauce on the table.  It’s nowhere near as good as the goose fat fried rice I had in Hong Kong (for which I’ll forever be haunted), but it’s better than Panda Express.  Most importantly, this fried rice is a hell of a lot better than unimproved old rice, and it’s not that much work.